Just had a wedding on May 18, 1996. We were married in the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden. By a sculpture titled 'Double Curves' by Elsworth Kelly. Had gorgeous weather. It was fun. Bev bought a dress mail order, that had a lovely floral print that she can wear again. I wore my linen suit. Her best friend was her Maid of Honor. My soul-brother, Kevin was my best man (Actually he said that he couldn't take the pressure of being a 'best man', so he said he was my 'pretty good guy' We hired a Jazz band (led by Brad Bellows and featuring bebop legend, Eddie Berger) to play at the wedding. Then we walked across the bridge and through Loring Park to the Loring Cafe for a reception with champagne, fruit and spinach/goat cheese stuffed pastries. The service was performed by a women who is a friend of Bev. We wrote the ceremony based on things gleamed from non-religious resources.
Opening Words
Marriage is a relationship which embodies all the warm and precious values that grow out of human companionship and love. We enter it joyfully and in the knowledge that love is both our highest achievement and life's most precious gift. Into this relationship with deep commitment and high expectations Beverly and Don come now to join together. Beverly and Don, you have invited us to witness the happiness that you have found in each other. Are you ready to make the pledges to which you commit yourselves to each other in love?
[Bev and Don say "Yes"]
Acknowledgement Of Family And Friends
It is appropriate that you, the family and friends are here to participate in this wedding. The ideals, the understanding, and the mutual respect, which these two bring to their marriage have roots in the love, friendship, and guidance, with which you have provided them.
[John reads Poem The Holding (William Bronk)]
The Holding
Of lovers, one senses how, coupled, their joy is to think
their singleness, together, to find themselves;
how, holding each other, they think to hold
as well as themselves, the truth, reality.
We honor their wanting; what better could we want than that?
Or, more than honor, we feel what they feel.
If not for another sense, then this were all:
we sense that what they hold is not the truth.
But it isn't wrong to want what they want.
If wrong is wrong, the wrong is not the want.
We sense that what they hold is not the truth.
How much of what we want--ourselves, the truth,
reality--is not for the getting. What we hold
or how, no matter. What we hold is not the truth.
Reading
We are gathered here to join this man and this woman in marriage. This is an act as ancient as the history of the human race and as new as each new morning; for it speaks of the past and of the future, of the life of the individual and the existence of the community. Because marriage is concerned with the most fundamental of human relationships, it must not be regarded lightly. Those who enter into this relationship shall cherish for each other a mutual esteem and love, bear each other's infirmities and weaknesses, comfort each other in sickness, trouble and sorrow, encourage each other in trials of the spirit, and live together as the heirs of life. Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly, but with devotion and discretion. Love and loyalty will avail as the foundation of a happy and enduring home; and if the solemn vows you are about to make be kept with honor and integrity, your life will be full of peace and joy, and the home you are establishing will be one of warmth and understanding.
[Kevin signals band]
[Band plays: Body and Soul (J. Green, F. Eyton, E. Heyman, R. Sour)]
Vows
[Don and then Bev]
"I take you, bev/don,
to be no other than yourself
loving what I know of you
trusting what I do not yet know
with respect for your integrity
and faith in your love for me
through all our years
and in all that life may bring us."
Ring Exchange
A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth, and of the universe. It is a symbol of wholeness, and perfection, and of peace. The rings you give and receive this day, then, are symbols of the circle of shared love into which you enter together as husband and wife.
[Don and Bev say:]
"I give you this ring to wear as a symbol of our love for each other."
[Don says to Bev:] from Song of the Open Road (Walt Whitman)
Comerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money,
I give you myself before preaching or law:
Will you give me yourself?
[Bev says "Yes!"]
[Bev says to Don:] continued from Song of the Open Road (Walt Whitman)
Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?
[Don says "Yes!"] [They join hands]
Pronouncement
Forasmuch as Don and Beverly have consented together in marriage, declaring their love for one another, they are now husband and wife.
Celebration
And now, may the confidence, trust, and affection you have for each other on this day, sustain you as you go forth upon your journey of life together with its joy, its laughter, its sorrow and its pain. May you find together the loftiest that is in the universe. May you dwell together in peace, love and joy.
[Band playes Round Midnight (Monk)] Guests follow wedding party across bridge.
After the reception at the Loring Cafe, We had a BIG PARTY at our house. Here is the invitation.
The next week we flew to Peru for our honeymoon.
Go to Don's home page
don@berryman.com